Support for BESS Wanes, Biden Orders Morro Bay Plant Converted to Crematorium

MORRO BAY, CA — At long last, the fate of the Morro Bay Power Plant is decided. Public support for Vistra’s Battery Energy Storage System (BESS) wanes with every new exploding Tesla, undt der Fuhrer Biden deems public support important, especially since the recent bombing that took out his top staff. So Biden ordered today that the Morro Bay Power Plant will be converted to a crematorium. The latest COVID variant will spread uncontrollably this fall [CDC warns of new stealth COVID variant where you test negative and get no symptoms] and while your fourteenth booster shot (choice of mRNA or lead, administered conveniently at your home by the Federal Bureau of Injection) will neither prevent infection nor lessen the likelihood of death [chances are (unless you take the lead option), you will survive the shot and the agonizing afflictions that follow], you can rest assured those dying are those that must die, for improvement of genetic stock and to control health care expenses for all. To further control expenditures, the order established new hospital protocols prohibiting all COVID treatment and mandating immediate euthanization. Due to its central location, Morro Bay is the logical venue to serve all of California. Biden expects the new crematorium to run at capacity for years as new variants emerge, a real boon to local employment and possibly also helpful with the homeless problem. A companion order expanding immigration is aimed at lessening the likelihood that the new Morro Bay Crematorium might lead to a loss of congressional seats for California. When asked at the press conference whether the Supreme Court would rule these orders unconstitutional and whether he would try to pack the Court with additional seats, Biden responded: “No, and no. The entire Supreme Court is headed to Morro Bay right now.”